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July 18, 2008
See No Caribou, Speak No Polar Bears, Hear No Wolves
This weekend, Congressman Boehner is headed up to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge on a hard-hitting congressional fact-finding mission, the purpose of which is to do everything possible to avoid finding facts. "We're going to look at this barren, Arctic desert where I'm hoping to see some wildlife," Boehner told reporters. "But I understand there's none there. But I'm still going to look for it. If I find any, I'll let you know."
We're sure he'll be looking really hard. At the floor, his lap, or wherever else he can avert his eyes to keep from seeing the thousands of polar bears, caribou, birds, musk ox, wolves, and brown bears that call the Arctic Refuge home.
And who's funding this Big Oil publicity stunt? American taxpayers. That's right, we're paying for Boehner and his oil pals in Congress to fly all the way up to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, just so they can pretend they didn't see anything.
That way, they can start the drilling and guarantee that in a few years there really won't be anything left to see.